I had to laugh at myself today. On a call with a group of folks discussing our current times, lives, and predicaments in the world.
I wasn’t prepared to chat or connect. None of the preferred reading was done on my part. But I showed up anyway. With half a tank.
Sitting amidst a group of deep thinkers, creative innovators and love afficionados I often wonder, “Where’s my place?”
The old words setting me out on another search or journey to find said place, said role, said identity to lash and shout unto the world, “This is me! This is where I am! THIS is what I can do!”
But I stopped myself, laughing today, I didn’t have the energy to push to look to seek anymore. So I listened.
And I shared, exactly what was going on, “Hi ya’ll, I’m not prepared. I didn’t do the reading. I’m at half a tank today. I’m here to listen.”
Something funny happened as I listened. These humans with which I got to interweave from Mexico, Columbia the USA and beyond… I listened deeper.
What is it we are all longing for? To see and be seen? To hear and be heard? To show up and be witnessed? To trust ourselves? Our longings? Our ability and desire to create?
I let it go again and played with the weaving conversations. Here’s what I love about what you just shared… Here’s what it sparked for me… Here’s where I’m curious…
Just relaxing, by default because I’m a little tired, into where the stars might weave themselves. Although I wasn’t really even thinking about that either.
Next up I hear a woman describe her current creative project. I feel inspired and intrigued. I remember this feeling with her before, wanting to know and hear more. But not knowing of a way to reach out to her, I let it go.
And here she was! Telling me about all the things I’d been curious about! And I didn’t do a damn thing to make this moment happen but show up and listen.
I laughed again, at the stars, at my tenacity, at my willingness to just be. For all the times the stars have not aligned, there have been moments I’ve allowed myself to feel defeated. As if alignment is the goal.
Seems to me, the show, the experience, witnessing the web weave itself and coming to a space where we can hear, see, listen, be heard, be seen, and be witnessed is the experience itself. The ongoing dance. The joy of the stars not in alignment and the joy of the dancing stars into alignment again and again. Both and.
It’s funny really, how hard I work myself sometimes. And then when I really let go how that’s when the real “work” begins. And the stars, they’re doing most of it, my real job, or role is just to show up and listen.
When the Stars Align