“Of your silent referee,” I used to sing as a teenager in high school to Sarah McLachlan’s iconic song Angel.
“You’re in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort here…”
I haven’t thought about that song or those lyrics too much since the 90’s.
Last week I travelled up to George, WA. Yes, clearly the town namesake thought it would be funny to name itself after the United States first president for no other reason than they could.
Anywho, Brandi Carlile was playing at the Gorge Amphitheater a place we hadn’t been since she first headlined the epic venue in 2019. But, not only was Brandi going to be there, this time she was bringing along the absolute legend Sarah McLachlan!
McLachlan is the woman who started, conceived of and made Lilith Fair in 1997. The first festival full of female artists housing greats like Indigo Girls, Sheryl Crow, Tracy Chapman, etc and respectively raised over $10 million for charity.
Every ounce of my teenage heart wanted to go to Lilith Fair. And, every ounce of my closeted heart knew it’d be a bit too obvious to share such a compelling desire. I figured, I could wait just a couple more years ‘til I was out of high school and then I could go do what I really wanted.
In the meantime I listened to Sarah McLachlan on repeat. There’s something about the sensuality of her voice, the way each note starts up high in her seventh chakra then travels it’s way down low into the root chakra winding it’s way all the way back up to the seventh again. Taking you along for the ride with her. Lord knows I wished to create some form of art that could do that too.
Which is exactly what Brandi Carlile dreamed sitting in the audience of Lilith Fair at the Gorge Amphitheater in 1997. And it’s nights like this in 2022 watching the kid who made it from the lawn section seats up to front and center stage and is now headlining the entire show that’ll give one goosebumps! Reminding us all to continue living our truths, keep loving and most of all keep dreaming.
Before the night closed out Sarah McLachlan and Brandi Carlile sang a duet to Angel.
“In the arms of the Angel, fly away from here. From your dark cold hotel room, to the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent REFEREE….”
Screeeeech record scratch… Wait a second. What. Did. They. Say?
Rev-er-ie !?!? With a v, not an f!?!?
Like reverence? Reverie???
You mean to tell me I’ve been singing that song wrong for nearly twenty five years!?!?
Fu**!!!!
And, then I laughed at myself. Alright. Reverie it is. Who even uses that word anymore? I thought to myself.
Four days later I get an email from Hedge School. It’s titled, “Finding the Reverie in the Mist.” Steve Brophy has penned yet ANOTHER beautiful poem. I stop whatever I am doing when I get the email, I open it up and read.
“To be revered.”
Is that the same word? I have to look it up.
Reverie
/ˈrev(ə)rē/
noun
a state of being pleasantly lost in one's thoughts; a daydream.
Reverence/Revered
/ˈrev(ə)rəns/
noun
deep respect for someone or something.
The words are not the same, and yet they evoke a similar tone of respecting awe, wonder and being immersed in joy.
Which is exactly the way I feel about friends, people I love, connections, music, inspiration and everything in between. The reverence is palpable.
In Steve’s piece he says, “When we can’t make sense of it all, maybe all we need to do is rejoice in the non-sense of it all.”
I shook my head rejoicing in reverence after reading this. And a winding plug trying to find it’s completion of making sense of these last few years just dropped and let go.
The non-sense brings us closer together. Looking for answers, together. Asking questions of one another and the mist. Unwinding through us solutions to the non-sense in our very own hearts in ways that are surprising and in reverie.
What I really saw, heard and felt when I read Steve’s post was NOT a silent reverie. It was a pounding, beating drum. Moving to a cadence aloud for all to witness and hear. That’s the difference. Angel, by Sarah McLachlan is a beautiful song. But it’s really about a drug addict in a hotel room alone.
Steve illuminated for me what I am happy to remember from time to time. This writing thing isn’t always about who is reading it. These curiosities aren’t always about finding answers. It’s about beating these drums aloud. Sharing these beats together. And letting our lives, our minds and our hearts intertwine to show us the beauty of, as Steve says, “rejoicing in the non-sense.”
Sources:
The Silent Referee