Hello Hedge Schoolers,
Let me begin with a poem to frame our inquiry this week.
Sanctity
No harm done
I'm just viewing
from the shadow
without violence in my heart
But the eye cuts deep
to lacerated
understandings
of what it means to
hold dear the sacred
Lost in confusion
amongst shiny pictures
of postures
I look
with an empty gaze
at a transaction
of violence
that I just can't stop
The desire pulses
in innocence
wrestled from the jaws
of hush-hush business
Manifested perversions
grip with a toxicity
I die to every day
There is love
in the reverence
but death in the execution
Talk to me men
about ways that harness
the purity
That revere with sanctity
the beauty I withhold
Talk to me women
about ways to hold
the feeling
in ways that feel held
Bring the talk to the table
where love is served best
Connection in connection
of deep and beautiful love
Music Acknowledgement
resonance by airtone (c) copyright 2020 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution
Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/airtone/61321
I wrote this poem after a deep journey. A journey that highlighted the hidden.
The repression of what it feels to feel. The passion. The desire. The guilt. The shame.
Growing up in an Irish Catholic family, my introduction to the world of sex was a mix. A mix of my mother diving across the room to turn off the television when a set of boobs came across the screen and my father blushing deeply when we discovered his stash and he had to deliver the birds and bees talk to my brother and me.
Bless.
There was no manual for this when they were growing up. Just brush those beautiful, natural feelings under the rug for they are the devil's work.
So like many others, I felt the need to hide in the shadows when talk came to this.
Miseducated by pornography and playground myth, it led to a completely fractured relationship with the divine. A violent act of objectification without violence in my heart.
All in a bid to feel.
I own all of my infractions. I'm not proud of them. But I am standing up to reclaim the sacredness of this relationship. It is the deepest shadow work I have done. And is always a work in progress.
Honouring the beauty
Consensual sex is just awesome. It is the deepest connection we can have with another being. We enter into a deep relationship where life has the potential to sprout from the magic of our dance together. It is just magic.
A great relationship usually has a great sex life as a cornerstone. Making love with my wife further weaves us together as a couple. We come home to each other, even in the face of all that may be boiling around us. It stokes the fire of our love.
Attraction, arousal are beautifully natural when we are in the right relationship with them.
But at what point does it become objectification? At what point does it go too far?
These are the conversations that we need to have with young people. The conversations we need to have with adults who have yet to become adults. We need containers of dialogue where we can speak freely. To reconnect with the beauty of sacred connection. To embrace our sexuality in all its glory, including the bits we hide in the shadows. An ecosystem of over-sexualisation and pornography does not breed the right relationship.
Open dialogue is a path forward. Holding space for people to make conscious their inner feelings and thoughts can be alchemical in nature. Two examples from my own experience holding space spring to mind.
I have run Sexual Education classes for Year 3-12 students for over 20 years. Holding space for deep and open discourse about a topic that most call taboo has been a joy. I have run classes with boys and girls together and separately. The giggles. The blushing. The laughter when I say certain words out loud.
“This is totally awks Mr. Brophy.”
It sure is, my reply.
But nothing beats the deluge of questions that comes at me when I say to them that I will respond to all questions, just as long as they use the correct scientific terminology. The questions are first submitted anonymously to help create trust but that is quickly dismissed as they see that I truly mean that nothing is off-limits. It has certainly led to some interesting rabbit holes. From my many years of running these sessions, I have found that there is just so much misinformation out there. Because this topic is awkward for some, they have been educated by hearsay and pornography. And I take pride in helping clear up that signal.
One of the most beautiful moments I have had as an educator was during a Body Awareness session, I ran for younger students. During the separate boy’s session, I had a Year 3 student come out. A term was used that this boy took great offence to. He bravely called out the older cooler others before I could interject and proclaimed that he already knew that he liked boys. He was 8. Instead of ridicule, these boys rose as warriors and held him as he stepped into the open. I get goosebumps thinking about this moment. When we create crucibles of trust, we can hold space for all. To be as they are. To be who they are. But it starts as men and women looking at ourselves first. If 9 and 10-year-old boys can rise with such strength, we all can.
There are more informed people than I speaking on this but I did want to speak openly about my truth. To publicly acknowledge the work that I have done and will continue to do and to leave you with the offer of an inquiry into your relationship with the sacred.
There is no judgment here.
Just an open heart and ears, so speak freely from your heart.
Till next week,
Steve
The Sacred Reclamation: Bringing light to the shadows