The gentle art of getting out of our own way

Towards our second, timeless, larger life

Hello Hedge Schoolers,

Happy New Year to you and your loved ones. I hope the dawning of new Chronos time has gifted you space and rest to truly be. This time of year is always a time for deep reflection. We take a look back over the footsteps walked during the year and dream big and large about the paths we'll walk in the coming days, weeks, and months. Whatever your plans are, no doubt you will at some point find yourself in your own way. Changing lanes with regard behaviour will always flag protective mechanisms. So the first quest-ion of 2021 is devoted to the gentle art of getting out of our own way.

The Paths of the Second Mountain

If you have walked the deep quests of previous Hedge School episodes, you will no doubt have stirred up soil deep within your well of desire. Your ultimate heart's desire will no doubt be speaking to you in waves of whispers and screams. David Brooks calls “our ultimate heart's desire, the love behind all other loves.” We yearn to lose ourselves in something or someone. We yearn to be one. Merged with the experience, the moment, and the bigger picture of life.

And the world needs your magic.

Needs you to go beyond yourself.

Needs you to find your signature sound.

Not for narcissistic reasons but for the plain and simple fact that you were chosen to be conscious. You were chosen to bring a gift to the table of life. And part of the process is meandering. Seeking. And eventually, surrender. When we, as the great Pappaji would say, “call off the search”, we find the truth. The truth that deep beyond all masks and layers of story lies the truth of who you are. It is there all the time.

We are consciousness.

And this beautiful human experience we are having is a gift to the world. So fly high!

Find the runways that allow you to take off, as Rilke would say, "for your second, timeless, larger life."

Facing the Runway

When we find the runway that allows us to go beyond ourselves, fear will dial-up. That's a guarantee. But it needs to be viewed not as an inhibitor but a sign that you are on the right path. Of course, be careful. As my mentor, Jamie Wheal would say, "don't do dumb shit." But don't shirk from the experience based on stories in your head. Notice them. Face the fact that there is the potential for death. For hopelessness. But not as you imagine it to be. The crash landing of new experiencing breaks old ideologies into chards.

And we cut ourselves alive with those chards.

We learn from them. We pick up the pieces of old and create new life. In Japan, this process is called Wabi-Sabi. A vase that breaks is put back together with glue. The new beginning is honoured. The vase has evolved. Has been given new life. This is what your runway provides. The opportunity to see the scars of lived experience as the glue to puts you back together more beautiful than before.

Be still with the fear. Converse with it. When we do, we gain insight into what we resist. Insight into the stories of past that are trying to lock us securely away. We arrived at this version of ourselves because of past experiences. Knowing this allows us to reverse engineer the experience to recreate a new story. This is where James Clear's Identity-based habits can assist.

Decide who you want to be.

Seriously.

You choose.

You've always had the choice.

If the stories are just fabrications based on past experience, then shift them. To embed this new story, prove it to yourself with mini-wins. Tiny experiences that reinforce a new narrative. If stories trap our capacity, rewrite them using the same programming that put them there in the first place. Micro practices (or Tiny Habits as Behaviour Scientist BJ Fogg would call them) that are repeated successfully every time are the proof that our ego needs that we are this identity. It’s not capital ‘t’ truth but a way to step outside the mind.

Reverse Narcissism

Narcissism boils down to a lack of self-love. It doesn't project like that from an outside point of view but it is an overcompensation externally for a lack of love internally. When we put ourselves down, our souls are also starved of that self-love. Depth Psychologist Thomas Moore writes in Care for the Soul that "the secret in healing narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the narcissism, the less love is being given.”

So listen to yourself. With love. Be still. Notice the thoughts that arise. Truly notice them. Listen without judgment or attachment. Don't engage. Just watch the thought like you would watch a leaf on a river. It will be in our sight for a while but soon will be gone. This practice is timeless. And accessible at any time.

For those who are truly stuck in the mud of old negative patterns, techniques such as EMDR and Somatic bodywork can really assist along the way. For those who geek on the science, check out this video from Stanford Neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman. I had the pleasure of an intimate conversation with Dr. Huberman when I was training with the Flow Genome Project. He is a next-level human being. And this technique can really assist with reducing amygdala activity in the brain.

Catering for Fear of success

“The amateur fears that if he turns pro and lives out his calling, he will have to live up to who he really is and what he is truly capable of.”
Steven Pressfield - Turning Pro

For many people, the fear of success is also a hurdle on the runway. This may sound like a paradox but even with the possibility of takeoff in front of us, many people procrastinate or put hurdles in front of their progress. Unsure of the first few steps, we resist.

What is required is a dual attack on either side of the runway.

Standing still requires energy to initiate movement and then energy to maintain movement. To initiate movement, work on your highest excitement. The first steps are the hardest to take so do something that you excited to do. Prolific author and sociologist, Niklas Luhmann always worked on what most excited him most. This allowed him to write over 75 books and 500 articles in a lifetime that saw him become one of the most important social theorists of the 20th Century. Luhmann worked with focus and depth and success found him as a result. What he chose to start on was always his highest excitement. He is an example of what author Steven Pressfield would call a Pro. We all have dreams of being called a Pro in our domain of interest and expression. Working with your highest excitement will help provide the energy for the first few steps towards that goal.

The next part is to keep the runway clear. Remove the hurdles of resistance by saying "no" more often. Remove all unnecessary forces. All friction. All stressors. Pre-empt what will pop up and design your runway without them in place. This will allow for momentum to occur. Reduce the friction and then keep moving.

Beyond the call of the Lyrebird

A safety mechanism outlined by my guides on my Vision Quest last year was the clapping of sticks at dawn to check in on a daily basis. After having no interaction with anyone but Mother Nature, I would wait with bated breath for that moment. Just to connect with the essence of another human being was a highlight. Just hearing the sticks was a highlight. Life amongst the stillness.

On the second day, I started to hear the sticks throughout the day and not at the usual time of dawn. On the third day, I heard the sticks all throughout the day. I figured it was the drum roll of a fellow Quester looking to entertain themselves. When I returned to basecamp, I learned that it was the Lyrebird that had been mimicking our stick clapping. The Lyrebird has the most tremendous ability to mimic sounds.

We begin as Lyrebirds. We imitate the calls of others. We copy. The key to copying is to do it the right way. Steal Like An Artist is a brilliant book by Austin Kleon and is devoted to the "Lyrebird" stage of our runway. Copying needs to be a reverse engineer of the work that you wish to emulate, not a plagiarised version. After you reverse-engineered the process, you create your own version through elaboration.

We all begin as cover bands but the key is to find your own sound. To be your own sound. In next week's newsletter, I will outline a process that will assist you to do this.

Till then, I'd love to hear from you. Drop a comment below with any feedback about Hedge School. What has landed? What hasn't? Questions or lines of inquiry for the future. I'd be greatly appreciative. Also please share. It's an ask but done with love 😁

Till next week,

Much love,

Steve